that's all for now!

so i have one last post, maybe most people wont read this one, but its still interesting. after the last writing sever things have happened.

that night i found out that one man i was with in ni'lin had the soldiers break into his house at 3 in the morning last night. they all were masked and dragged everyone from bed into the living room, pointing guns into their faces. they held everyone there, in a panic and confusion, for about an hour and then arrested the 17 year old boy, saying he had thrown stones in the previous day's demonstration. he wasnt even there, but of course, there is no justice here. he is now in jail, who knows how long he will stay.

this is what the army does. terrorize. its not like the police who come knock on your door. no, they wait for the dead of night, when you are in the deepest sleep, and break down your door. now you can never sleep in peace again. neither can your neighbors, because they heard it and your other neighbors, they have a 15 year old boy, so they wont sleep either. gestapo style, terrorism.

99% of prisoners are tortured.

i read an article in haarezt newspaper, israeli, that discussed the visit of a group of human rights activists from south africa. i have included a piece below, very telling, and disturbing.

She was deputy defense minister from 1999 to 2004; in 1987 she served time
in prison. Later, I asked her in what ways the situation here is worse than
apartheid. "The absolute control of people's lives, the lack of freedom of
movement, the army presence everywhere, the total separation and the
extensive destruction we saw."

Madlala-Routledge thinks that the struggle against the occupation is not
succeeding here because of U.S. support for Israel - not the case with
apartheid, which international sanctions helped destroy. Here, the racist
ideology is also reinforced by religion, which was not the case in South
Africa. "Talk about the 'promised land' and the 'chosen people' adds a
religious dimension to racism which we did not have."

Equally harsh are the remarks of the editor-in-chief of the Sunday Times of
South Africa, Mondli Makhanya, 38. "When you observe from afar you know that
things are bad, but you do not know how bad. Nothing can prepare you for the
evil we have seen here. In a certain sense, it is worse, worse, worse than
everything we endured. The level of the apartheid, the racism and the
brutality are worse than the worst period of apartheid."

I thought they would feel right at home in the alleys of Balata refugee
camp, the Casbah and the Hawara checkpoint. But they said there is no
comparison: for them the Israeli occupation regime is worse than anything
they knew under apartheid. This week, 21 human rights activists from South
Africa visited Israel. Among them were members of Nelson Mandela's African
National Congress; at least one of them took part in the armed struggle and
at least two were jailed. There were two South African Supreme Court judges,
a former deputy minister, members of Parliament, attorneys, writers and
journalists. 

anyway, the article is very depressing, but its a plea to the world to know what crimes are happening in palestine.

so i got to the airport and i am now convinced that the israeli security has left a permanent mark in my passport because the first (of about 9 or 10) security checks in the airport looked at mine for all of 10 seconds and said, you are going to have to step aside for security reasons. i mean, he hadnt even asked me questions. either its my profile of being a young male, or there is something there. i have looked since, and i cant tell if there is anything. either way, i was yanked and brought to my favorite place in the airport.

the interesting thing here is that it was the same head of security who did the questioning when i came as on leaving. what are the odds? i joked with him a bit, i knew there was no way out of it. he said he didnt remember me.

we got to the room and the search began. after returning my clothes and my dignity they looked through my bags, and there he was. he looked inside, saw the bear (which i had saved, just one, for this precise moment!), squeezed it tenderly, again like a child, and he went soft. he said, oh yeah, i remember you, you had a lot of these bears when you came in, didnt you? i said yeah, and he actually tried again. he came over and acted angry and said, why do you only have one bear left! i laughed and said that it was for him. i think he might have blushed, but that was the end of questioning from him. i was only held for a little over two hours, my quickest passing through security yet. then i met a young security guy who was assigned the job of taking me through all the other security points to my gate. he told me it was VIP treatment, and we laughed. he is an engineering student and does this part time. when we pass through the long lines i hear people grumble that i "get to go before them" and "who is this guy?" i turn and tell one couple that i am from the secret police, very seriously, and they turn pale. ha! i gave them a story now. we get to the police station in the airport and the security guy makes some veryfunny jokes about police. i shake his hand before i get on the plane. he was actually quite nice.

i remember the first conversation i was conscious of when i arrived in the US. the girl next to me hopped on her cellphone immediately after we landed and "oh ma god! do you know that in denmark red bull is illegal! we didnt know what to do, everyone was suffering SO MUCH! ha, can you believe it?!" ah, america.

from tear gas to bike lanes

here are three pictures of gifts given to me, which i will not take home. one is a certificate from the TRC as a thank-you, another is a traditional palestinian hand-woven piece with copper work to hang on my wall for my keys. the last is a kuffiye with arafat and the dome of the rock on it.

i left harduf yesterday in a semi-panic. just being there, the green grass, the pleasantness, is in such stark contrast to the rubble of ni'lin. the geographical proximity makes it even more difficult. its one thing to observe the difference when i am in the US, but the fact that in the morning i can be shot with tear gas and in the afternoon have a picnic outside, its strange. and i am not talking about the guilty feeling of the fact that i can leave, i am just talking about the juxtaposition, it makes the situation feel even more surreal. but its real.

i leave harduf and hitch-hike to jerusalem, its relatively easy to get there. when i get there i want to take a taxi to the old city, to damascus gate, to east jerusalem. but i am turned down by several taxis, no reason given, just dirty or angry looks. the kind of looks that make my own soul feel filthy, its hard to wash off. but finally i get a palestinian taxi driver, and i make it. the strap broke on my luggage, so carrying it for the 4 miles in the heat of midday is not a pleasant option. but its the option that nihaya from hebron must make, every day. i ease into the cab and feel the wind in my hair as i ride to the beautiful old city. there i meet sadek, a man who has been involved in everything. he works as a sort of parole counselor, with gay youth, folks with substance abuse, and much more. a real community activist. he takes me through the old city where we encounter 4 types of israeli security harrassing the palestinian vendors in various ways. one is a soldier, checking random IDs, standing there with their huge guns, laughing. another is a refrigerator of a man, bald, with a handgun, looking menacing as he asks questions to another. sadek tells me he is there to inspect people's products. and two more different types of "security" are there as well, asking questions, checking IDs, holding people, making life difficult. because they are palestinian. we only need to walk two blocks to witness this, then we get to a cafe where we sit and have a grapefruit juice, and he smokes an arguila. he says he likes to indulge every once in a while, because his work takes a serious toll on him. we talk for several hours about life here, about his work, and so many other things. he and his friend are interested in getting a NADA training for their rehabilitation program, and want to do so as soon as possible. i start to realize that there really is unending work here, and he agrees.

i get to tel aviv, and i have to take a bus to a shopping mall to pick up the keys from sigal for her house, she wont get home until 10. again, going through 3 security points to check my bags, and it isnt just police, the military is there as well. so many guns. and the mall, the massive consumer center, everyone so fashionable and nice. buying things in airconditioned setting. its not hebron. on the bus from the mall to sigal's house i ride through jaffa, where there are palestinians, and many other immigrants. its considered by many to be an undesireable neighborhood. the guy on the bus was giving me advice. he told me that since i am an acupuncturist i can make so much money in israel, but go to the rich neighborhood. get out of this shit, he wispers. he tells me i can find an apartment with one bedroom for 300 or two bedrooms for 500. i can rent the one bedroom to a friend for 300 and only have to pay 200, he advises with a wink. thanks for the advice.

i get off the bus and buy some hummus for dinner, its certainly something that i will really miss. as i walk to sigal's house a rock lands next to me, and i look around. must have been a car bouncing it off its tire or something. i take a few more steps a big rock lands hard right next to me and smashes on the ground. this time its very close and almost hit me, and it was big. i look around and a group of kids are on the roof nearby. its the first time i have had a rock thrown at me. what a weird feeling.

well, i think thats all i got for now, probably the last update as i leave tonight. i hope i dont have problems leaving the airport, that they dont hold me too long. so begins the psychological game played, making it very difficult and painful for people to want to return. even if they dont give me a hard time just the possibility is enough to make me start to get nervous. anyway, its not helpful. i will be back tomorrow night so if anyone has questions please write or call, i will be happy to answer questions. going back to the US gives me so much to think about. so many worlds. thanks to all those who have been reading and passing on the word to your friends and people close to you. it means a lot to me, and to so many people here, which is of course the important thing. many people i have talked to express to me that they often feel hopeless because no one understands them in this world, and no one cares. really, it does give people a sense of hope and support to know that their stories are told, and that when their lives are written and talked about they no longer exist in shadow. its like the lack of the signs for Jenin. the effort to keep it from being written is an effort to deny its existence. to deny the existence not of a city but of a people. of lives. lives that dont exist. and for all practical purposes, the people of jenin dont exist to the whole world. only they know that they exist, and i am sure even some doubt that. but when we write, put a pen to the paper, as visual as possible, or when we talk, we can make our own effort to support, through solidarity, love and action, those who are struggling for the world to know that they exist. i hope this doesnt sound sappy or preachy, so i will stop now. but thanks. see you all soon.

more pictures

pictures

abed with is children and nephew, abed in action, abed and his family, nice picture from the training, picture of the entrance of the freedom theatre, a small stove outside with tiny handprints in the concrete wall behind it (jenin), jenin refugee camp, sort of altar in memory of the 14year old boy shot in the stomach on the street in ramallah, bled to death in front of his parents, one block from where i am staying in ramallah, sunset in ramallah, sigal, the woman who graciously let me stay with her in jaffa.

some pictures

i will try to put up some pictures here, of the training and of various other things. top left: dr. nadal practicing, and me pulling needles, me and trainers and the whole group, my ear being a volunteer for one of the trainees to practice on, samya needling,

please let me know if the writing is too much, because i spend a lot of time trying to write about what i am seeing and feeling. if you are curious or have questions, please ask me. anyway, i feel like what i am seeing here needs to be talked about and repeated, and i just hope that this writing is helping you all understand this situation better and also give you things to talk about with others! i guess i feel like there is a lot of writing about what happens here, not in mainstream news, but its out there. but really the education happens when we start talking about this with people, or start taking action.

ni'lin

first let me remember what happened with abed at his house. i left ramallah in the morning and went to arora, and upon arrival we sat down in abed's living room with his whole family, including his brothers and sisters and children and nephews. we all sat together for a few hours and had tea, very relaxed. then i was put to work for a while, which was really interesting. after working i had lunch and then after that i sat and had coffee with the men under the walnut tree in his garden. it was hot, really hot, but under the shade it was beautiful. we all sat there for a while and just laughed a bit, and talked. then we moved back inside and had more tea and talked more, while the kids colored or played around. its friday, the day off, this is what happens here in the quite village. spending time with family. there was so much affection, the boys were always playing on top of one another, holding their uncle's or aunt's hand. the girls were playing around and a family member would pick them up and have them on their lap. always playing, always hugging or affectionate. we walked in the garden and abed's brothers wanted to give me so many things. they wouldnt let me leave without two types of mint, sage, zatar, cucumbers, tiny almonds, tomatoes, limes, and grapes, all from the garden. they couldnt give me enough. i was very honored. then we sat inside and abed's oldest brother gave me a special root from the village to be ground and mixed with oil that is for bruises or sprains - its very hot, in fact just a tiny bit burned my sensitive skin. he gave me two pieces, a large piece for use and a small piece with roots to try to plant back in the US. leaving was very difficult, i never know if i will see these people again. over lunch i asked abed about the political situation and the future, and he said he was scared of the future. he said that so many people are afraid of what will happen to palestinians if israel goes to war with syria or iran. it looks really bad, he says, and he is not sure what they will do. he has no money, and no place to go. its not like if there were a war his family could simply leave. there is no place to go. jordan wont accept them, no place really will, and no one wants to live a refugee again. leaving makes me sad, because abed is so kind and his family is so wonderful, and goodbyes are never something to be taken lightly.

i returned to ramallah and had dinner with some of the trainees, a goodbye thing, it was very nice.

then the next morning i went to the palestine medical relief building in ramallah to meet with some friends and the ambulance going to ni'lin. we left at 9am and in the ambulance, with the music playing loud, i was sitting in the front seat and very excited. talking to the ambulance driver about his work i remembered that his profession is one of the more dangerous in the west bank, as they are repeatedly shot at. in fact, this driver has a wound, not even yet a scar it was still healing, on his forehead from a bullet that passed through the windshield and skinned his head, barely not killing him. and he laughed a bit, i guess because he had to. then i thought, shit, being in an ambulance may not be the safest place in the world here. what a crazy place. i knew this from my time here in 2003, but its been a while. so a mixture of excitement and fear was going through me as we speed through the streets of ramallah on our way to ni'lin. we get to the atara checkpoint right by bir zeit university and the line is longer than i have ever seen at that particular one. it must be 50 or 60 cars long, both ways, and one driver next to us tells us that he has been waiting two hours. we speed along past all of them until we are halted by the guns of several soldiers. our driver speaks to them and basically tells them to get out of his way, and the soldiers reluctantly let us through. it feels weird to pass everyone by, but i understand why we need to. there are people with urgent needs in ni'lin today, both from the protest that will be and the result of months of israeli terrorism in the village in the construction of the wall. we speed along, i swear faster than i have been in any car in my life, and we get to ni'lin rather quickly. before we enter the village i see across the small valley on top of a hill shining white houses with orange roofs, behind a wall. classic settlement. and we get into ni'lin and the only word that comes to mind is rubble.

broken concrete and trash everywhere, destroyed houses, serious poverty. and then in the ruins of one house i see a peacock. unexpected and strange, nobody else seems to pay attention.

the protest at ni'lin elicited the use of a rather new weapon in israel's arsenal, a tear gas gun that shoots thirty cannisters at once. dozens of people were injured from the gas, many were injured from the beatings with guns or batons of the soldiers. others were hit with rubber bullets. the protests at ni'lin are focused on trying to prevent the construction of the apartheid wall, one that is being built in violation of all international law and is stealing the majority of the land from the village of ni'lin and will in effect leave the village completely engulfed by the wall, so that the people will neither live in the west bank nor in israel, simply within a wall. the wall will also strangle another small village nearby.

at the clinic many people come for their injuries from the protests, but hundreds are there for treatment that they cannot recieve because they are geographically and economically limited by the occupation and the construction of the wall. there are more women than men this day. i help treat dozens of people. one 45 year old mother of 7 wanted help for her eyes and skin, a result of tear gas being shot into her house. she was not even part of the demonstration. her youngest daughter 8 years old joins us, she has cuts on her face from some sort of explosion near her. her mother told me that her daughter played a trick on her yesterday when she came running into the house crying and bleeding saying that she was dying, but really it was just the tear gas that made her have so much tears and swelling in her eyes. she said that her daughter laughed about it, but could still not open her eyes for several hours. one man had bruises all along his arms, torso and legs, from beatings from the soldiers. a young boy came because his shoulder hurt because he threw too many stones. many came with neck injuries, back injuries, and other strange and complex pains. we obviously couldnt help everyone, and it was difficult to have so many people. the mobile clinic that we were in withphysicians for human rights and with palestine medical relief only comes once a week to ni'lin. they go all over the west bank, not just to places where there is active and ongoing protest and violent repression from israel, but all over because there are so many places across the occupied territories that are left stranded. many of these villages have no wall around them, but are rather surrounded by settlements and people are often beaten severely or killed by settlers as they try to leave. another barrier to their health is the obvious restriction in movement, imposed by checkpoints both permanent and flying.

here is a small article about the other driver i was with, who was shot at last week by the israeli soldiers at ni'lin.

Ramallah, 26-06-08: The Israeli military deliberately targeted PMRS health worker Ahmad Ayyash on the 16th of June as he attempted to reach one of the non-violent protesters injured during a peaceful protest against construction of the wall in the Palestinian village of Ni‘lin. While 29 year old Ahmad was approaching a youth injured in the thigh by a rubber-coated bullet, an Israeli soldier fired one bullet at the PMRS vehicle in which he was traveling. "I made every effort to show the soldiers that I was a health worker" said Ahmad. "I sounded the siren of the vehicle, I called to the soldier in English, and I clearly showed the PMRS logo on my vest". Ten seconds later, soldiers fired 14 more bullets at the vehicle, damaging the body and smashing the windows. "This was a deliberate and targeted act of violence", said Ahmad. "This is not a one-off incident, but its part of a wider series of attacks against medical staff. I have been attacked three times before under similar circumstances in Bil‘in village", he added. Under the Fourth Geneva Convention, medical staff are afforded special protection and should be given full access to emergency situations in conflict zones. However, the Israeli military frequently denies the access of health workers to such areas and there have been several cases of soldiers attacking medical staff.